Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register ) · 0 New Messages

 
 Reply to this topicStart new topic
> funny, well it made me laugh
Emily
post Jul 12 2002, 10:48 PM
Post #1


[Ringer Patrol]
Group Icon

Group: [Ringer Patrol]
Posts: 717
Joined: 21-May 01
From: Old Woking, Surrey
Member No.: 26
This made me laugh

"Squawks" are problems noted but U.S. Airforce pilots and left for the maitenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenace complaints logged by those Air force pilots and the replies logged by the maintanence crews.
(P) = Problems †(S) = Solutions

(P) Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
(S) Almosy replaced left inside main tyre.

(P) Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
(S) Auto land not installed on this aircraft.

(P) # 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) # 2 propeller seepage normal - # 1, # 3, and # 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Sothing tightened in cockpit.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.

(P) DME volume unbelievably lound.
(S) Volume set to more believably level.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces 200 fpm desent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problems on ground.

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction locks cause thrittle levels to stick.
(S) That's what they're there for.

(P) # 3 engine missing.
(S) Engine found on righ wing after brief search.

(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right", and be serious.

(P) Target Radae hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.



--------------------
its all fun and games till somebody looses and eye!
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
MadMitch
post Jul 13 2002, 10:57 AM
Post #2



Group Icon

Group: Full Members
Posts: 181
Joined: 8-May 02
Member No.: 83
good find sexeh


--------------------
Nice bloke, but might as well be dead...
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Emily
post Jul 18 2002, 12:03 PM
Post #3


[Ringer Patrol]
Group Icon

Group: [Ringer Patrol]
Posts: 717
Joined: 21-May 01
From: Old Woking, Surrey
Member No.: 26
Alex McLeish is looking for new players so he sends his chief scout to Afghanistan to search for new talent. Sure enough he finds an outstanding 18 year old striker and immediately signs him on a 5 year contract.

Back in Glasgow Alex McLeish takes a look at him at training and plays from the start in the big game against Celtic! The new lad is fantastic he scores a hat trick and creates 4 more as rangers win 7-0!
Ecstatic after the game, the young lad phones home to tell is mum the good
news.
'Mum, I've just made my debut and had a great game. The team love me the
fans love me the press love me life is great!'

'Well,' says his mum I'm glad life is great for you. Shall I tell you what happened to us today? Your dad's been murdered in the street, your sister and I were raped in broad daylight, and your brothers joined a gang of drug
running killers'.

'Mum, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry.'
'SORRY?' she yells. 'Your ****in' sorry?'
It's YOUR fault we moved to Glasgow in the first place!'


--------------------
its all fun and games till somebody looses and eye!
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
womble
post Jul 18 2002, 04:53 PM
Post #4



Group Icon

Group: [Ringer Patrol]
Posts: 774
Joined: 23-November 01
From: Anywhere you want me, sexy!!
Member No.: 58


--------------------
Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Murray
post Jul 18 2002, 07:32 PM
Post #5



Group Icon

Group: [RP CS Clan]
Posts: 523
Joined: 23-March 02
From: Lincoln
Member No.: 74
I have already explained this once, the sheep called me into the barn to help untie it, i tripped, and a pitchfork tore my clothes off, my penis brushed the end of a hay bale, i became aroused, and my penis landed in the sheep.

(damn police said this wouldnt get printed :angry: )


--------------------
Macho Macho Man, I've got to be, a Macho Man
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
womble
post Jul 22 2002, 08:00 AM
Post #6



Group Icon

Group: [Ringer Patrol]
Posts: 774
Joined: 23-November 01
From: Anywhere you want me, sexy!!
Member No.: 58
A site dedicated to mac's †;) †mac fan site



--------------------
Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
james
post Jul 22 2002, 08:24 AM
Post #7



Group Icon

Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 3296
Joined: 2-March 01
From: Surrey, UK
Member No.: 13
Twat.


--------------------
"We are number one, all others are number two or lower!" - The Sphinx, Mystery Men

"A computer without a Microsoft operating system is like a dog without bricks tied to its head" - annon

"What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is." - Dan Quayle

IPB Image
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
womble
post Jul 23 2002, 12:41 PM
Post #8



Group Icon

Group: [Ringer Patrol]
Posts: 774
Joined: 23-November 01
From: Anywhere you want me, sexy!!
Member No.: 58
There was a young vampire called mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.


--------------------
Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
womble
post Jul 23 2002, 01:35 PM
Post #9



Group Icon

Group: [Ringer Patrol]
Posts: 774
Joined: 23-November 01
From: Anywhere you want me, sexy!!
Member No.: 58
Todays slightly disturbing site: errrr weird


--------------------
Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
womble
post Jul 23 2002, 07:13 PM
Post #10



Group Icon

Group: [Ringer Patrol]
Posts: 774
Joined: 23-November 01
From: Anywhere you want me, sexy!!
Member No.: 58
Ive just seen a advert for a Anti Clump brush on TV! :D  bah


--------------------
Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Frase
post Jul 25 2002, 12:19 PM
Post #11



Group Icon

Group: [RP CS Clan]
Posts: 1025
Joined: 21-February 02
From: Coventry, West Mids
Member No.: 68
Chuckle Chuckle

:D


--------------------
Frase.org.uk
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
womble
post Aug 2 2002, 09:42 AM
Post #12



Group Icon

Group: [Ringer Patrol]
Posts: 774
Joined: 23-November 01
From: Anywhere you want me, sexy!!
Member No.: 58
Made me laugh



--------------------
Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
« Next Oldest · general chat · Next Newest »
 

Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 

Display Mode: Standard · Switch to: Linear+ · Switch to: Outline

Track this topic · Email this topic · Print this topic · Subscribe to this forum

-   Time is now: 24th January 2025 - 03:40 AM
Invision Power Board v2.1.7 © 2025  IPS, Inc.

Content © ringerpatrol.net 2001-2007 -- Design by Designified

www.designified.com