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> The man with constant constipation is here...
quaker
post Jan 29 2002, 05:46 PM
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i wan hatcher deeeeaaad , i wan his family deeeeeaaad , an if you can killlll im i go killll im an then i killl youuuu.  :p


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neil
post Jan 30 2002, 12:15 AM
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OK, this thursday (31st), 2100, Channel 5.

FIRE DOWN BELOW

Not his best movie, but at least Michael Caine is in it.  I've actually always thought this sounded like one of Meats dodgy porn vids...

Do not stra from di part i av prepared.......


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russ-boy
post Jan 30 2002, 06:46 PM
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errrr....taco supreme er huh huh huh.
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james
post Feb 5 2002, 09:13 PM
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Is that the one with the classic scene where Our Steve walks purposefully straight at the camera while detonating a well-head oxygen starve explosive AND desperately needing a shite all at the same time?


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neil
post Feb 11 2002, 09:27 AM
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This week's offering will be shown at the usual time of 2100 on Thursday 14th Febuary. †So if you would prefer to watch our Steve kick the crap out of some backwards Americans rather than taking the better half out for her "special night"....

THE PATRIOT

This is the most recent of all the Seagal films, and unfortunately I don't rate it that much. †The basic plot is some Nazi's from a small way-out-west American town (about 20 mins into the film you begin to get the idea that all of thier parents had the same surname BEFORE thay were married, know what I mean?) decide it would be a great idea to spend the weekend's messing with the subtle art of biochemical warfare. †Of course, it all goes really tits up and here enters our hero, playing the role of the only CIA doctor who would actually find it easier to kill you than cure you. †As usual, the fate of the free world will now be decided by our Steve, and there's also a gut wrenching "American Family Values" moment near the end. †The kung fu is a bit far between on this one, but impressive nontheless.

Worth a watch if you don't want to spend a week's wages trying to convince her that she is more important than a game of CS, and you were listening, honest.... †???


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neil
post Jan 29 2002, 05:36 PM
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Steven Seagal season starts on Channel 5 this week, every one of his movies will be shown....

It's gonna be great. ;)


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russ-boy
post Jan 29 2002, 10:29 PM
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farward Jamaica!

incidentally, nothing 2 do with kung fu, but Predator's on tv in a mo.  Game on.
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quaker
post Jan 30 2002, 08:43 AM
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i & i boombaclut  :)


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neil
post Feb 5 2002, 08:31 PM
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Ok, having got a couple of things wrong last time (like the cast list), I have done the research for this week's offering from Channel 5's "Steven Seagal Season".

This week it's ON DEADLY GROUND at 2100, Thursday 7th Febuary.

Brief storyline for you all:

Change of style for our action hero here as big butch Steve is now playing a sensitive eco-warrior (I ask you?).  Michael Caine (he's in it this time, I promise) plays a nasty oil magnate with a dodgy hair dye problem who is destroying Alaska through reckless drilling.  Not to worry though as our tough but tender hero wades in and blows most of the bloody place up anyhow.  Basically a daft plot but plenty of action, also stars Joan Chen who manages to make those native Alasken fir coats look sexy.....

Worth a watch, but not one of the best.

;)


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neil
post Feb 5 2002, 09:36 PM
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You got it bate, your viewing pleasure awaits..


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quaker
post Feb 6 2002, 08:18 AM
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at some point in the film does mr caine say : don't throw bloody spears at me , if he doesn't in not watching it.  :p


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james
post Feb 11 2002, 09:54 AM
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I seem to recall that's the one where the Soldiers in full NBC kit + respirators have to collect wild flowers to combat the evil of Biological warfare. God Bless America.


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neil
post Feb 18 2002, 06:19 PM
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**UPDATE**

This week we have two offerings from the man with only one facial expression.....

MARKED FOR DEATH (Wednesday 20th, 2200, C5)

Our hero plays a sepecial agent who is trying to take early retirement but seems he just can't shake the job.  Loads of bone-breaking from the man with the girly haircut, also stars lots of Jamaican's who talk very strange indeed.  A favourite of mine and Russ-boy's, this film is best watched whilst drunk..

OUT FOR JUSTICE (Thursday 21st, 2205, C5)

New york cop Gino Felino (Guess who) goes on the warpath after nasty gangster Richie Madano (William Forsythe) guns down his best pal and partner in the street outside his local greengrocers.  The reason for this killing is a little lost in the blood soaked gunfights and bar brawls that follow, but we're not watching it for the story telling value are we?  One of the best, pointless and mindless violence..

Enjoy..
:D


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russ-boy
post Feb 20 2002, 11:39 PM
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has anyone else noticed that when Steven Seagal runs in his films, he runs with an extremely limp right wrist.  Hmmm!

P.S.  Let no man here stray from dee part!
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james
post Feb 21 2002, 09:02 AM
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'I wan you to meet my seeester - goddhes of fiyaahhhhh....'

And yes he does run with a limp wrist. And a look of a man with a horse-chesnut case in his underpants.


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"A computer without a Microsoft operating system is like a dog without bricks tied to its head" - annon

"What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is." - Dan Quayle

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