Dark Knights rock!, ...or how not to build a team website. Options

[michael]

Dark Knights & D&H paint ball site Homepage (Their spelling, not mine).

Am I a stickler for grammar and presentation or is this a tongue-in-cheek jibe at paintballers that I'm just not getting? The 'favourite links' section is the best when the author turns a recommadation for Ebay into a Gihad against any marker not bearing the Smartparts name.

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The Shocker and Impulse are one of the most quietest ones out there also. So you are getting the best of everything. Autocockers are a jerk off wannabe Impulse with ALLOT slower firing (even after a 900 dollar upgrade). Angels are a wannabe Shocker, lighter, but allot less accurate, and very load!! So why get those pieces of junk when you can get a all-in-all perfected gun.

Take time to enjoy the photo page. A scattering of Pirahnas, a Spyder Compact and finally a Bob Long Intimidator which is referred to as a 'piece of shit'. I'm off to burn my Evo and Eblade as I've been misled after all these years and get a Pirahna tricked up to outperform any Angel. These guys are the 'Shiznit'

HAVE FUN DAMN IT!

[james]

I wonder if the site was written in Japanese and run through one of those auto translators - for example:

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This gun is basicly babied to the extreme...well taken care of...I MEAN IMACULATE!! It has trick ups (many).

[Frase]

This bit got me....

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Have fun making your paint ball buddies piss thier pants.

Hmm looking at what RP has to offer and the videos ive seen of the E-Blade i dont think ill be passing water if this thing is shot at me!

[michael]

Maybe I'm just been picky, but I have developed a real distaste for adolescent American paintballers with poor grammar. I thought the Dark Knights were an extreme minority, but they've got mates...

'Paintballenbob', who has been playing for 3 years, has decided to review the 1999 Shocker Sport 4x4 on paintballstar.com. On October 10 2003...

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Experience:  Over 3 years Time used:  6 Months - 1 Year Review not this gun is one of the best gun out on the market, when you spend half the price of an angel and get almost as good as a gun is remarkable. now for the guy that said you should get a big tank he is a dumb ass newb just get a 4500 tank and you will be fine do not!!! get a 114 ci tank wast of money trust me on this one. the shocker is really a crazy gun. i can keep up with any gun out there with out spendning 1500 dollers just to make my gun shoot right like those dumb ass retards that buy autocockers, and dont waist 4cases of paint a game and spend 1200 on an angel. andgel really is an awsome gun though. i cant wait tell i get a little more money so i can get the 03 shocker now that gun will be a champine Pros:  shoots fast, reliable, long distance, accuret as hell, awsome gun for a player in any spot Cons:  heavy and some what of a gas hog Recommended Upgrades:  halo B

'Dumb Ass retards that buy Autocockers'? Don't these people play outside of their local site or read any of the paintball publications, web or print? I think we should track him down and send Nexus to his hicksville backwater town for a 'Robbo-gram'

[michael]

Dear God, please stop me. Here's another example. One child has posted a picture of his friend's marker with a self-made barrel and the rest of the Kindergarten just loses it.

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From:  p8baller10  (Wed 17 Sep 2003 06:38:14 PM CDT) thats my friends gun its a homemade barrel     From:  quazinart  (Wed 17 Sep 2003 09:34:07 PM CDT) thats the most retarded barrel i think i've ever seen. put that shit infront of your parents car when he's not looking.     From:  Serbian  (Fri 19 Sep 2003 11:12:15 AM CDT) I'll take 2. Put a mako storm on that thing.     From:  p8baller10  (Sat 20 Sep 2003 11:36:56 AM CDT) dont be bagging on my barrel. Id like to see u make a barrel and this shit is accurate. and i hate people that jus come on here and bag on people shit     From:  dubenhiemer  (Sat 20 Sep 2003 03:35:59 PM CDT) nice job on the barrell. too bad its on a spyder     From:  p8baller10  (Sat 20 Sep 2003 04:01:36 PM CDT) wuts rong with spyders im sorry im not rich like u people and my parents dont buy me wut ever i wont.     From:  quazinart  (Mon 22 Sep 2003 04:14:27 AM CDT) bag     From:  tippmannfronter  (Mon 22 Sep 2003 07:00:00 PM CDT) hey u made ur own barrel?sweet!!     From:  quazinart  (Sat 27 Sep 2003 06:13:58 AM CDT) i bet you are a good sniper     From:  p8baller10  (Sat 27 Sep 2003 12:45:56 PM CDT) there aint no sniping in paintball     From:  p8baller10  (Sat 27 Sep 2003 12:45:56 PM CDT) there aint no sniping in paintball     From:  Brand~COCKER88*new  (Fri 03 Oct 2003 09:01:23 PM CDT) god damn wut r u gonna do chop somebodies head off with that barrel put it on something expensive thats wut a jobs for hello     From:  max  (Wed 08 Oct 2003 05:11:04 PM CDT) holy shit you have got to be kiding me "sniping" that is the gayest thing ive ever heard. by the way, awesome angel     From:  pb_chick  (Thu 09 Oct 2003 02:58:14 AM CDT) If you don't like people bagging on your shit, then don't post it. Besides, you're a fucking hypocrite anyways. I haven't seen you do anything but talk shit about othe peoples guns. How's it feel when you're on the other end?     From:  Mitch  (Sat 11 Oct 2003 06:30:29 PM CDT) He's rite. My parents dont buy me shit either. Iv got an Imagine and it kicks ass. By the way, how did u make that barrel.

And they wonder why there are so many shootings in schools...

[Inspector Weasel]

That barrel is awsome, I want one.





I need something to hold the washing line up with

[Inspector Weasel]

Gosh, who would write such a nasty thing about his gun, wasnt me honest.

Inspector "UK Boy" Weasel

[michael]

Another thread. This time a perfectly reasonable feature on Viewloaders upcoming hopper degenerates into a carnival of abuse and dreadful punctuation, ending up with classic posts such as:

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evilpntballer 07.01.04, 20:45  i have to agree halo is so much better and it dos look like dog shit lol. i mean 27 bps by the time you hit 17 you gona be an open target unless your goin rambo style. so i think this hopper is a waist of time and paint.

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poonwillis 07.01.04, 20:59  just about everyone who said full auto, or rambo, or anything of that sort is a moran, look at the back guys in the nppl they probally get around 20 because all they do is shoot, just goes to show that u guys are n00b's

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bigbrew44 08.01.04, 20:32  and i would pay to see someone pull a trigger 20 times a second, let alone 27.

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taco 09.01.04, 15:51     call my brother he goT an a4 shoots 24 nd shoot 21... and as for u

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taco 09.01.04, 16:08  pbfreak247 is a noob im his friend all he duz is go on sites nd try to start teams

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AyanamiRei 09.01.04, 16:13  wow kid u must be weak to not be able to handle a halo... asking why a halo is heavy is asking why a 45 114 is heavier than a 30 47 tank... halo's the best loader out there right nwo, and from the looks of it, this thing will be soon... and the more and more i look at it, it looks sleeker and finer

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pbfreak247 09.01.04, 17:09  thats ridiculas 13$ 4 1 pod wats is so special about the pod that makes it like 10$ more than a normal pod eccept that it is made for this certain hopper and it opens the lid itself when u put it in the hopper

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EclipseImpact11 09.01.04, 17:16  Dude this this hopper is so gay! who thought of this! dude smartparts786 i can definatly spell hopper hits! the thing is can you spell overgrown, gay ass, huge, dildo. that is what this fuckin alien thing looks like!!!!!!! its real cool guys buy one! yeah right>>>

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taco 09.01.04, 19:23  hey big braw lol u suck at pb go home nd practice noob

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taco 10.01.04, 12:30  my brother carlos can shoot 24 balls per second wit his angel4, i can shoot 21

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hoggie119-2 13.01.04, 13:58  i need 27bps shit i still can shoot faster then that

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carnageplaya 15.01.04, 16:28  hoggie119-2 13.01.04, 13:58 i need 27bps shit i still can shoot faster then that OK WAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP? THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL U COULD SOOT THAT FAST MAN! I CAN BET MONEY ON THAT!! and anyway i think the hopper sucks BIG-TIME. i play back and i dont need to shoot that fast. back players dont need to fire incredibly fast to get the job done i mean it just requires a steady stream of paint. i mean at 15bps im not going to stick my head out trying to get off snap shots. and wats with everyone calling each other "NOOBS"? fist of all just b/c they may not know wat they are talking about doesnt mean they suck at paintball. its pathetic seeing u ppl say this over and over again. stop being so degrading. ever heard the term "sand-bagging"?

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schicken 16.01.04, 12:52  malizhiz you must be a damn newb and play rec ball anything over 20 bps is needed in tounament use you dumb ass

etc etc etc...

Thank you Microsoft and the American Constitution for giving these wankers the freedom of speech to express themselves so fluently on my screen.

[Doctor]

I have a cunning plan...... if we could somehow bring these redneck dipshits into conflict with the Hayez Squad they might wipe each other out. Telling one of the Yanks that his sister/wife/cousin (same girl) is dating an Asian guy who has MONEY, POWER and RESPECT should do it ho ho.

[michael]

I'm sorry. The ill-informed ramblings of America's adolescent great-unread attract me like a junkie to crack. Once again, I trawl the dank forums of America's paintballers and found this gem on pbnation.

Two Aussies have a lark in their garage and the combined intellect of the pbnation populace denounce 'brittish' paintball in one fell swoop. FFS.

This post has been edited by michael: Apr 5 2006, 12:06 PM

[michael]

Yay! Here's another stupid yank twat that deserves everything coming to him. Part of me hopes this is just a hoax, another part of me hopes he's now attending Junior High with an eye-patch.

Stop Press! I think I've actually tracked down one of the Dark Knights who has now all-growed-up and gotten himself a new team. I introduce Shaun "Phatty" Powers of Team Cincinnati Phoenix.

[Twiglet]

Remember the fun we had abusing the knights' forums?!?!

http://forums.phoenixpb.com/

Ok, the spelling is not as bad..... but could be fun!