Thomas the Tank Engine |
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Thomas the Tank Engine |
Inspector Weasel |
Jan 20 2006, 01:32 PM
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Group: Full Members Posts: 482 Joined: 15-September 03 From: Lurking in a bush Member No.: 175 |
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying,
"All of you B*****ds who want off, get the f**k off now, cause we're in a hurry! And all of you B*****ds who are getting on, get the f**k on, cause we're going down the tracks". The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added.......... "For those of you who are pi**Ed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat B**ch in the kitchen." Luke Skywalker and OB 1 Kinobe are in a chinese restaurant one night having dinner. OB1 chooses the menu as Luke has never had chinese before. 20 minutes later the grub turns up and they tuck in. Another five minutes pass by and OB1 looks up and says to Luke You'er gonna love this honest Luke............................... Use the forks! Two dyslexics in a laboratory ...one says to the other "Can you smell hydrochloric acid?" The other says "I can't even smell my own name" A man comes home from work one day, sits in his favourite chair, turns on the T.V, and shouts to his wife "Quick luv, bring me a beer before it starts". The wife is a little puzzled, but still takes him a beer. The man finishes the beer, and again shouts out "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start soon". Clearly agitated by his attitude, she takes him the beer, and storms from the room fuming. 10 minutes pass before the man announces from the front room "Quick fetch me another, it's gonna start, it's gonna start". The wife, clearly incensed by her husbands demands screams "That's it, you b*****d, you waltz in here, flop your fat a**e down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realise that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day and STILL manage to control the kids?" The husband sighs. "Oh sh*t, it's started." -------------------- Main Entry: in?spec?tor a : a police officer who is in charge of usually several
precincts and ranks below a superintendent or deputy superintendent b : a person appointed to oversee a polling place Main Entry: 1wea?sel or plural weasel : any of various small slender active carnivorous mammals (genus Mustela of the family Mustelidae, the weasel family) that are able to prey on animals (as rabbits) larger than themselves, are mostly reddish brown with white or yellowish underparts, and in northern forms turn white in winter. |
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