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tales from computer helpdesks, you just couldent make it up

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campaign dinosaur	Nov 10 2004, 06:13 PM Post #1
Group: Full Members Posts: 216 Joined: 21-April 04 Member No.: 194	This is the people I had to put up with last week =========================================================== > HELPDESK LOG... > Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? > Female customer: A white one... > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. > Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? > Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. > Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..." > Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's > still on my desk... sorry .... > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. > Customer: Your left or my left? > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? > Male customer: Hello... I can't print. > Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ... > Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not > Bill Gates damn it! > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it > says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it > in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find > it... > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Customer: I have problems printing in red... > Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer? > Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? > Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Helpdesk: And now hit F8. > Customer: It's not working. > Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? > Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's > happening... > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. > Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? > Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. > Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. > Customer: OK > Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? > Customer: Yes > Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another > keyboard? > Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work! > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital > letter V as in Victor, the number 7. > Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > A customer couldn't get on the internet. > Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? > Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. > Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? > Customer: Five stars. > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use? > Customer: Netscape. > Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program. > Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my > computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears! > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you? > Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you > please tell me how long it will take before you can help me? > Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? > Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 > hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Helpdesk: How may I help you? > Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.> > Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? > Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around > it? ____________________________________________________________________________

Janette	Nov 10 2004, 08:38 PM Post #2
[Ringer Patrol] Group: [Ringer Patrol] Posts: 759 Joined: 24-May 01 From: Yateley, Hants Member No.: 19	I think Mike might be putting his 'hand on head' photo up in this thread! -------------------- New and improved and bouncier and fluffier and tastier and faster and bigger and cheaper.

campaign dinosaur	Nov 10 2004, 10:54 PM Post #3
Group: Full Members Posts: 216 Joined: 21-April 04 Member No.: 194	only because he is on the list of callers

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