I Am Canadian, Just a little back ground history Options

[ReD_MeRkIn]

Here is a list I found online telling you what us Canadians have to be proud of.  You'll be (probably) happy to know that it offends Americans at times, too.

1. Smarties
2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp, Kraft Dinner
3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down
4. Baseball is Canadian
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Apple pie is Canadian
9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass.
10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass.
11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed
the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure.. (don't get offended! xD)
12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.
14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
20. We don't marry our kin-folk. (lol)
21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
23. A Canadian invented Superman.
24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.
25. Our elections only take one day.
26. We LIKE the winter.
28. Oh! And we DO have a military.. but everyone loves us, so we'll never need to use it

[james]

I've moved this to general chat cos its pretty darned good and some people may not spot it if they don't check out the paintball forum.

[Bird]

You've also got:
-Bryan Adams (I'm still saving myself for him-don't ask)
-Mounties (apparently, they are all fit) †
-Niagara Falls (is that the right one?)

Doesn't Celine Dion come from Canada? †Oh dear, that's not something to be proud of is it?

[Murray]

Mounties......cast your mind back to a few years ago. The channel was BBC 2, it was a little after 6pm -









I loved that programme  

[ReD_MeRkIn]

good one james

We officially denounce anything to do with Bryan Adams, and Celine Dion is our gift to the americans, kind of like blankets from a small pox ward.

[Minted]

Sherm's admission for like men in red uniforms scares me deeply...

[Bird]

Mmmmmmounties - I loved that programme as well.

[Murray]

You loved it too? Perhaps we could talk mounties some time

Or maybe not  

[Janette]

That programme was shite!  

[Minted]

I like the way you think nette...  

[Egg Designer]

Lets face it, the only good actor in that programme was the fecking dog!    

[Bird]

Aah, but was it a Canadian dog?  Has anyone ever heard of any Canadian actors........ nope, me neither.

[michael]

Mike Meyers. Although his parents were from Liverpool. They got on the wrong ferry many years ago and scraped a living nicking car stereos in Quebec before he was discovered.

[Murray]

lol thats a bit scousist.....

what do you call a scouser in a suit? the accused

what do you call a scouser in a 3 bedroom semi? a burglar

what do you call a scouser in a white shell suit? the bride

(sorry to all you liverpudlians in advance )

[ReD_MeRkIn]

A truly Canadian Apology to the USA... Courtesy of Rick Mercer from
This Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television:

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well
recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush
a
moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's
any
consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on
the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees
than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and
better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our
excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than
yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I
notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer
but, we feel your pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up
against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I
realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against
Hitler,
but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a
thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over
this.
We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.