funny, well it made me laugh Options

[Emily]

This made me laugh

"Squawks" are problems noted but U.S. Airforce pilots and left for the maitenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenace complaints logged by those Air force pilots and the replies logged by the maintanence crews.
(P) = Problems †(S) = Solutions

(P) Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
(S) Almosy replaced left inside main tyre.

(P) Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
(S) Auto land not installed on this aircraft.

(P) # 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) # 2 propeller seepage normal - # 1, # 3, and # 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Sothing tightened in cockpit.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.

(P) DME volume unbelievably lound.
(S) Volume set to more believably level.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces 200 fpm desent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problems on ground.

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction locks cause thrittle levels to stick.
(S) That's what they're there for.

(P) # 3 engine missing.
(S) Engine found on righ wing after brief search.

(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right", and be serious.

(P) Target Radae hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

[Murray]

I have already explained this once, the sheep called me into the barn to help untie it, i tripped, and a pitchfork tore my clothes off, my penis brushed the end of a hay bale, i became aroused, and my penis landed in the sheep.

(damn police said this wouldnt get printed )