Wood you be-leaf it? Options

[michael]

Don't mess with Mother Nature. She always wins in the end. Take our beloved Polo, for example. Polo messed with Mother Nature and Mother Nature messed with his head. With some serious wood-on-wood action, Polo managed to impale himself, head first, onto a tree on Ridge field. Kebab reprised his role as the fifth emergency service by rushing him to Guilford Hospital where staff glued his head together. Whilst there, doctors could find no evidence of zombie-brain-sucking activity, or any brain activity for that matter.

Being a brave little Ringer, Polo turned up for work the following day with his Evostick-enhanced cranium. However, he wanted revenge on the Ridge. With chainsaw in hand, and Kebab as backup in case the tree attacked again, he got medieval on the wood. His victory was a short lived one as Nature had other ideas. She had lost to this Polo but was plotting to kill another one.
On the other side of the safe zone, someone mysterioulsy threw a tree into the path of Simon's VW as he reversed up the path. This trunk-to-trunk combat left The Nicest Man in Paintball™ without a rear windscreen and little sympathy from his peers. If Mother Nature wants you off the field, you're off the field.
Site Management point all staff and employees to the disclaimers you've never signed but will shortly have rolls of bubblewrap for sale at reasonable rates.

[Twiglet]

Heehee, you forgot to mention that Polo then got shot right on the hole (heehee hole) the next day!!! Hahahaha, I think he was jinxed at birth.