Fantastic IM conversation Options

[james]

This is probably the best transcript of an instant message conversation I have ever seen:

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Girl: Hi Boy: hello Boy: who is this? Girl: just a someone? Boy: A someone I know? Girl: nope Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me? Girl: well sorrrrrry Girl: I just wanted to chat with you Boy: why? Girl: nevermind your an asshole Boy: Hey wait a minute Girl: yes? Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid Girl: paranoid? Boy: yes Girl: of what? Girl: me? Boy: No. I'm in hiding. Girl: LOL Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me! Boy: This shit is serious! Girl: What are you hiding from? Boy: The cops. Girl: gimme a fucking break Boy: I'm serious. Girl: I don't get it Boy: The cops are after me. Girl: For what? Boy: I'm wanted in three states Girl: For??? Boy: It's kindof embarrasing. Boy: I had sex with a turkey. Boy: Hello? Girl: You are fucking sick. Boy: Send me your picture. Girl: why? Boy: so I know you aren't one of them. Girl: One of what? Boy: The cops. Girl: I'm not a cop i told you Boy: Then send me your picture. Girl: hold on Boy: Hurry up. Boy: Are you there? Boy: fuck you, cop! Girl: Hey sorry Girl: I had to do something for my mom. Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities. Boy: Weren't you!? Girl: thats not it Boy: Then what? Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty Boy: Most cops aren't Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD! Boy: Then send me the picture. Girl: fine. What's your e-mail? Boy: Just send it through here. Girl: alright *PIC* Girl: Did you get it? Boy: Hold on. I'm looking. Girl: That was me back in may Girl: I've lost weight since then. Boy: I hope so Girl: what?!? Girl: that hurt my feelings. Boy: Did it? Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? Girl: yes Boy: Alright let me find it. Girl: kks Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC* Girl: this isn't you. Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't! Girl: You don't look like that. Boy: How the hell do you know? Girl: cause your profile has another picture. Boy: The profile pic is a fake. Boy: I use it to hide from the cops. Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Boy: Not to mention all the groceries. Girl: Go fuck yourself Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week. Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. Girl: You've done nothing but slam me. Girl: you hurt me. Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me! Boy: Why would I do that? Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. Girl: FUC YOU!!! Boy: You'd break both of his legs. Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole. Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me Boy: Ok. I'm sorry. Girl: No you aren't Boy: You're right. I'm not. Boy: HAARRRRR! Girl: I'm done with you Boy: Aww. I'm sorry. Girl: I'm putting you on ignore Boy: Wait a sec Boy: We got off on the wrong foot. Boy: Wanna start over? Girl: No Boy: I'll eat your pussy Girl: You'll what? Boy: You heard me. Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy. Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy? Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes Boy: Well I'm not like most men. Boy: I get excited in different ways. Girl: Like what? Boy: Do you really wanna know? Girl: I don't know Boy: You have to tell me yes or no. Girl: I'm afraid to Boy: Why? Girl: cause Boy: cause why? Girl: well lets see Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you? Boy: Nope Girl: well its strange to me Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to Girl: I didn't say that Boy: So is that a yes? Girl: I guess so. Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Boy: Are you willing? Girl: What do you need me to do? Boy: I need you talk like a pirate. Girl: Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" Boy: ok? Boy: Hello? Girl: You can't be serious Boy: Oh yes I am! Boy: It's my fantasy. Girl: this is retarded Boy: Do you want it or not? Girl: Yes I want it. Boy: Then you'll do it for me? Girl: sure Boy: Ok. Here we go. Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy. Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit. Girl: mmmm yeah Boy: uh oh ...going limp. Girl: Har Boy: You gotta do better than that! Boy: Your picture was really bad. Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke. Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. Girl: mmmmmm you are good Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder Boy: going limp Girl: HARRRRRRR Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. Boy: You begin to sway back and forth. Boy: going limp Girl: this is stupid Boy: ...still limp Boy: Do it! Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole. Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole. Girl: WTF?!?!? Boy: They stink really bad. Girl: OMG STOP!!! Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Boy: I ram it up your ass. Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!! Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple... Boy: I kick you in the face! Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!! Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Boy: Your parrot flys away. Boy: ...going limp again. Boy: Hello? Boy: Say it! Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

[Frase]

ROFLMFAO

Awesome, absolutley awesome!

The best part was this....

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Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole