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> funny, well it made me laugh
Emily
post Jul 12 2002, 10:48 PM
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This made me laugh

"Squawks" are problems noted but U.S. Airforce pilots and left for the maitenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenace complaints logged by those Air force pilots and the replies logged by the maintanence crews.
(P) = Problems †(S) = Solutions

(P) Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
(S) Almosy replaced left inside main tyre.

(P) Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
(S) Auto land not installed on this aircraft.

(P) # 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) # 2 propeller seepage normal - # 1, # 3, and # 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Sothing tightened in cockpit.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.

(P) DME volume unbelievably lound.
(S) Volume set to more believably level.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces 200 fpm desent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problems on ground.

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction locks cause thrittle levels to stick.
(S) That's what they're there for.

(P) # 3 engine missing.
(S) Engine found on righ wing after brief search.

(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right", and be serious.

(P) Target Radae hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.



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its all fun and games till somebody looses and eye!
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MadMitch
post Jul 13 2002, 10:57 AM
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good find sexeh


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Emily
post Jul 18 2002, 12:03 PM
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Alex McLeish is looking for new players so he sends his chief scout to Afghanistan to search for new talent. Sure enough he finds an outstanding 18 year old striker and immediately signs him on a 5 year contract.

Back in Glasgow Alex McLeish takes a look at him at training and plays from the start in the big game against Celtic! The new lad is fantastic he scores a hat trick and creates 4 more as rangers win 7-0!
Ecstatic after the game, the young lad phones home to tell is mum the good
news.
'Mum, I've just made my debut and had a great game. The team love me the
fans love me the press love me life is great!'

'Well,' says his mum I'm glad life is great for you. Shall I tell you what happened to us today? Your dad's been murdered in the street, your sister and I were raped in broad daylight, and your brothers joined a gang of drug
running killers'.

'Mum, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry.'
'SORRY?' she yells. 'Your ****in' sorry?'
It's YOUR fault we moved to Glasgow in the first place!'


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womble
post Jul 18 2002, 04:53 PM
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Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
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Murray
post Jul 18 2002, 07:32 PM
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I have already explained this once, the sheep called me into the barn to help untie it, i tripped, and a pitchfork tore my clothes off, my penis brushed the end of a hay bale, i became aroused, and my penis landed in the sheep.

(damn police said this wouldnt get printed :angry: )


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womble
post Jul 22 2002, 08:00 AM
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A site dedicated to mac's †;) †mac fan site



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Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
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james
post Jul 22 2002, 08:24 AM
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Twat.


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womble
post Jul 23 2002, 12:41 PM
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There was a young vampire called mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.


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Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
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womble
post Jul 23 2002, 01:35 PM
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Todays slightly disturbing site: errrr weird


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Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
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womble
post Jul 23 2002, 07:13 PM
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Ive just seen a advert for a Anti Clump brush on TV! :D  bah


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Very funny, now tell me the one that doesnt suck.
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Frase
post Jul 25 2002, 12:19 PM
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Chuckle Chuckle

:D


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womble
post Aug 2 2002, 09:42 AM
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Made me laugh



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