Taken from motor insurance claim forms...I wonder what next years' premiums would be like...

1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

3. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

4. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

5. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

6. The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

7. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

8. The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush and just his rear end showing.

9. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

10. I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became smashed.

11. I had been shopping for plants all day, and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.

12. I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.

13. The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

14. I saw the slow moving, sad faced, old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

15. The other car attempted to cut in front of me, so I, with my right front bumper, removed his left rear tail light.

16. I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.

17. I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

18. I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

19. I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end and there was a crash.

20. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where a stop sign had never appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

21. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

22. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

23. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

24. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

25. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the otherside of the roadway when I struck him.

26. When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

27. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.

28. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

29. My girlfriend kissed me. I lost control and woke up in the hospitalÖ